Starting a new life

What happened between us had made me so miserable for the past few weeks.Well,its over now.I'm done playing the stalker.I blew everything and I'm tired of all this bullcrap.Well,I've stopped contacting her and I'm gonna start setting up my own standards from this day onwards...

Well,from this day onwards.I'm gonna start doing the right thing.

It comes to this...

Right now...I am regretting of all the idiotic things I've been doing and how childish am I of doing it.What I'm saying is that these weeks had somehow opened my eyes.

The love triangle I talked about few days ago...somehow seems like its overwhelming me.I'm not being myself...So right now,I thought of dropping it and try to forget about being a third party.I'm tired of all this shit and it seems and it has been worrying me these few days.So right now,I guess...I would not focus too much in this thing..I stopped smsing her regularly and even forcing myself to communicate with her..It seems I'm being too desperate and I'm revealing my weaknesses.Maybe we could just become friends or.....Well,I'm confused..

Well life goes on.....I shouldn't even be dreaming about women at this time as they would only bring me down like this song says..

Quitting Online games

Why?Well its like this.These few days I really thought hard.I have been playing online games ever since I was Grade 6 till now and suddenly the thought of quitting it came up to my mind.Am I gonna leave the virtual world and get into the real world?Playing online games really takes a lot of time as you tend to play a lot to improve yourself.For an example,MMORPG's.You train super hard just to get a good level or some equipments or whatever you think will benefit your character but then...was it all really worth it in the end??

Yeah...I'm saying that was all those time you spent on it really doing you any good?Well maybe you can learn a thing or two from it.Well,to be honest...I learned the way to do business and helping me to make right decisions but then,I could learn them somehow as I progress through life...ONLINE GAMES ARE JUST FOR FUN AND SHOULD BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY UNLESS YOUR SOME REAL HARDCORE GAMER WHO HAS NOTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO

Well,I'm not trying to say that online games are bad but they take lots of time from us...Maybe because I'm not good at my time management as I tend to go overboard sometimes or maybe I'm too confused...

Nuff of that,I'm qutting online games for now because I see no purpose in continuing it...

A Love Triangle???Interesting...(Warning:Vulgarities to the max)

So...now,I got a few problems.Turns out that the girl I'm interested in has a few secret admirers as well....SO NOW!!The fight between me and a few more form 5 to get her begins...

How do I know this??Simple...My friends told me that the Form 5 gang are getting aggressive and they are aiming her...yes...the gangster ones.SO RITE NOW,I'm not gonna let those fuckers get in my way.Am I a pussy?If I let go of this one,will I be able to fight with others next time when I'm in college which is ultra serious??

OF COURSE NOT!!!I TOLD MYSELF,IF I FUCKING SCREW THIS UP,WHAT MAKES ME THINK I WILL DO BETTER IN THE FUTURE??

Preperation for the future begins RIGHT FUCKIN NOW.So a love triangle yes?,A BIG FUCKING LOVE TRIANGLE!?Holy shit...this is getting interesting.So right now,my mission is simple...time to hold those balls together and go all out to get her before those fucking perverts get her hands on her..

So now...the fight begins,if I lose it...I would accept it as a man and forget bout her...but if I win it...well...obviously you know the answer.

So the game is simple..I shall test whether she likes me a not by playing with her feelings(yes...I noe its harsh but what to do,I have to do it).After that,talk to her often and lastly....ask her for an outing and from there onwards....it will be more secured but those Form 5 will have a few tricks up their sleeves...

Well,guys...wish me luck.I know it might be too early now but I told myself,"I'm such a pussy,will I ever manage to make it in the future if I don't train myself now??".

Yes...yes..I know,concentrate on studies,I'm working on it okay?

Well...that settles it,from today I will change myself and give up full-time gaming which serves me no purposes...

What I think matters me the most

Recently,I've been going through lots of stress lately worrying for the unknown and me trying to form a relationship.Then,I thought."I've been doing things just to impress someone but was it all worth it in the end?".Sure,sometimes we tend not to think of the consequences and then,one day the problem strikes and we regret it.

What,I'm trying to say is that.The things we do in Life should have its purposes.Not waste time doing the things that would not benefit us in the future.

Always ask yourself this.."Is what I'm doing really helping me or others?After all that trouble,is it all worth it in the end??".

WE HAVE TO BE WISE IN OUR DECISSIONS AND NOT CHASE THE WIND.

Insecurity , Jealously and Heartaches

So this few days,I have been experiencing this fuckup problems.

Insecurity!!??How the hell this shit is corrupting me.I often feel left out nowadays,thinking too much that everyone dislike me or nobody thinks I'm worth talking to.Ohhh...the pain I felt.For an example,the girl I liked

Oh yeah...I managed to get her HP last Monday.Mastering all my courage,I took a deep breath and went up to her asking her for it and surprisingly,she gave it to me without even asking why.

Well,enough of this bullshit.So I sms her just yesterday and she taking a few hours to reply me...I felt unsecured and all the thoughts flew through my brain."Why isn't she replying me??Does she really like me or am I going crazy??".How I felt at that time was terrible but when I received her reply..Holy shit,my heart was so lighten and all my worries were gone but I smsed her again and she took a few more hours to reply...thats where the feeling strikes again.

I don't know how long this shit is gonna take but I really pray hard that this thing will leave me alone..

Next,jealously...Another problem,I've been having for years.When I see my friends getting surrounded with chicks and seeing them spammed on their Fb wall with comments and likes...The feeling starts creeping me telling,"How nice if I could be like him..".And so everyday I do meaningless things just to get attention but ALL THESE FOR WHAT PURPOSES??FOR FAME??I began to think properly...is what I'm doing now really worth it in the end?Sure,If I could be like him but all those time wasted on trying to be someone...And so,I have been trying to accept what I have and be grateful to what God has given unto me.

Well...the final,heartaches...currently trying to form a relationship with her seems so painful...getting to know her better makes me extremely nervous everytime I try to start a conversation...And when feeling rejected,I feel like I'm a loser...

ALL THESE PROBLEMS I'VE BEEN FACING!! People say I think too much or I'm not matured enough but I have my reasons for everything...Trying to perfect myself seems so difficult...

Well...thats all I guess...hopefully something in me will change one day

I'm Tired of wasting my time in this bullcrap

So,I've waited and waited for her to make the 1st move but I could see that she is rather shy to do it.This time I could see her showing hints that she is interested in me but she being the quiet type,I'm afraid I'm gonna lose it if I keep delaying.

And so,I have decided to ask her for her phone number face-face,no fucking love-note or whatsoever.Time to be a fucking man.I am also scared that I would get rejected but if I continue to wait for her,things might not go the way it does and I'm tired of wasting my time.So,I have decided to ask her for the phone number next week and I had to make sure I do it when she is alone or I might eventually embarass myself.

So,I have decided...All for nothing.Wish me luck guys and hopefully my balls don't drop.

Crysis 2 Nano edition worth it?

So now you see it...In my opinion,the Nano edition was a good buy.For a price of RM500 which you can get at TSB,you get a 150-paged artbook,a steelbook cover of Crysis 2 with its limited edition features,a figurine of Alcatraz,Crysis 2 main protagonist and the Nanosuit backpack.

Well,the stuff they give out were not bad except the backpack..Who the hell will actually walk on the streets carrying the backpack and showing off to everyone?I see no point in this,EA should have just give out dogtags which are much more cooler with the Crysis 2 design on it.Well if it is for collection purposes,thats your problem.

Overall,the Nano Edition is worth the price.Get it if you love Crysis 2 or if you are a Collector~

I iz Handphonephobic (Got such word?)

Yeah...So the topic says it all.

I'm handphonephobic and I have a phobia of carrying really branded handphones e.g.Iphones,Blackberry,etc...I had this disease ever since I dropped 3 handphones inside the washing machine costing almost a thousand ringgit zzzz

Well,now I'm using a cheap Nokia phone costing around RM200+.No more ultimate phones for me..but thats life...moving on

He does not admit he has religion

(Please do not flame me,I'm not critisizing anyone's religion here)

Recently,I asked my friend what religion he was,Christian or Buddhist?He did not know what to answer and then he said he is a Buddhist because his father was a Buddhist but his mother was a Christian but she does not goes to church often.Yet he was still unclear what he was.

After a week,my form teacher asked him what religion he was but this time he said he was a Christian.Why didn't he admit he was a Buddhist?Was he afraid?

And then I asked another friend.He said he doesn't know what he was.His parents were Buddhist but his siblings were Christians.So I classify him as an Atheist.Why didn't he admit what religion he was??Was he confused?I do not know...

Then,I began to think...Why do people often do not admit what religion they were?Do they really believe in God or were they unsure?

Atheism is slowly building up and Satanists were already starting in Malaysia.Drinking lamb blood,sacrificing animals,praying to the devil....Is religion slowly fading away?I do not know it either...People are starting to lose their faith in God....

Well,that is what I can conclude for now.....

I see them quiet eyes or is it?

Recently,my English teacher taught us a poem about a dude who has quiet eyes.So she said the person has a great personality attracting all the girls and getting laid all the time but them quiet eyes shows he was a bad person.My teacher describes it as a layer of thin ice that went you try to walk on it,it might eventually break and you will submerge into the icy cold waters.At that time,it might be too late and she was telling the girls in our class to be careful of men.

So,I was thinking about this poem...then I remembered the girl I liked.I describe her as a friendly person but those eyes I see in her reminded me of the poem...

Well,it all began long time ago.I can never forget the time I really got f*cked in the ass during the time felt in love with a girl who I met on the net.How f*cking stupid I was at that time...I got cheated and wasted cash on her.That was the time my trust in people was gone.Well,I'm still trying to get to know the girl better but I will keep my pace from now on because I can not trust a person too much but of course...I do have my doubts,maybe she is a great person or I do not know how to describe what quiet eyes really meant but I have to be careful.

Well,that is all for today.Nitez~

Tat gurl....Part 2

So recently I had been talking to her for quite a while...but most of the converstation between me and her are asking questions....Damit I feel so desperate this few days...

But the weird part,is that she has been observing me for a while.I don't know why but she watches me wherever I go...

Maybe she has a crush on me or maybe I'm getting crazy...

I don't know why but I do have some..'ahem' feelings for her.....

Well,enough bout this bullshit.Shall continue writing reviews for my game tomorrow ( If I have the time of course lolz,or I will only be writing all these bullshit stuffs bout my life again )

I did it....

And so,I managed to talk to the girl today but it was only after school...again because of my f*ckin shyness.The story went like this,

At the end of school,I had to stay back for a Magazine team meeting ( I'm part of the school Magazine's team ) .Then,I spotted her looking at me from a distance.That was when I had the opportunity of asking her whether she is going for the meeting as well ( She is also a part of team ).So I had the chance of talking to her but I felt that I was desperately looking for ways to talk to her....What the hell is happening to me??

Well,enough about that.Nothing special today,just that I've wasted my time going for my music lessons when I did not see the SMS on my phone showing that there was no lessons today....How f*ckin stupid of me...

Well,I guess I will be going to bed early today and thinking of ways to talk with her tomorrow...

Oh,yeah...Got my marks already and will be posting about it tomorrow ( If I have the time of course lol )

Epic Fail x2.....

And so,today I did not lose my ballz and only talked to the girl when school was goin to end after delaying 6 hours because of my f*ckin shyness..

Turns out she was not a Christian....wasted so many hours of my life thinking what to say to her in Mandarin ( I suck ) but then I was really happy I had the courage to speak with the girl :D

Well,the second failure was after my BM tuition....I was gonna go back home when suddenly the shoe I wore did not feel quite right...Felt it was a little bit smaller.

Then suddenly,a dude came to me and told me I was wearing his shoes...How embarrassed I was at that time with another dude laughing at me zzz...Well,so much failures today but it was also AN EPIC DAY!!

Maybe tomorrow I will go over and talk to the girl again...Maybe we could become friends??Lolz

Tat gurl.....

Recently I've been registered unknowingly to a program called "Life Game" at Port Dickson (Mainly for Christians I think) and so I was pretty upset when I found out only a few of my buddies were going there...

And so I've decided to ask every Christians in my classroom to know whether who is and who is not going to the program.So far I've asked,nobody was going there..

But there was this girl in my class that I do not have the guts to ask...Probably because of my shy attitude but still,I had to ask her whether she goes or not to answer my curiosity...

So..tomorrow I WILL ask her and hopefully I don't lose my ballz.

Another simple day

So today was simple,received my test papers and got a bad grade.I was so dissappointed when I've found out I did not get an A for Physics which resulted in a B+ and I failed Biology,which I've already expected..

Nothing much of a day today,go to school,come back home-eat,bath,gaming,tuition,practice guitar and now sitting here writing this boring post to you people.

I've felt that this life of mine needs improvement.Maybe I should start getting myself involved in more activities or maybe socialling more with my friends.Or maybe I should start visiting my friend in my area??So much things to do but dunno how to start...

Well,enough about that.Will continue blogging tomorrow and continue to update you guys with my Bio marks...I've written lots of bullshit in the paper.

"The Rite" !?

Recently I watched a movie named "The Rite"


Yeah..."The Rite".Actually,this was not the official wallpaper because I found it really disturbing to put on my blog.Well enough about that,I found others saying it was not a great film and my friends called it a boring movie.

Well...in my opinion,it was a great movie as it tells about modern exorcistion and about Roman Catholics.So,this is my opinion of the movie

The movie was about a dude named Michael Kovak,believed to have a bad childhood and become a priest to escape it all..Soon,he was sent to Rome for an exorcistion seminar.At there he met Father Matthew believed to answer his curiousity about Demons and God.Soon he began to face supernatural elements and the demons controlling him.

The movie was good...Anthony's acting was good with his dynamic facial expressions.Storyline was a little bit confusing with series of unknown flashbacks of Kovak's life as a child.Horror wise,it was scary but not as scary as the old Exorcists series which made me unable to sleep for a few nights.Overall,I found the movie mainly for the Christians and Catholics as they tell the story of Chatolism,which others may find it extremely confusing.

Well,that was my first movie review.I hope to write more in the future.

Final test 2mro

Ah...finally the final test is tomorrow which is Moral..Never revised though but the subject should be quite easy.

Concerning the tests a few days ago...the easiest was English whereas the hardest was Biology...wanted to leave all the questions blank for the subjective part but in the end,I ended up giving unrelated answers....The subjective was so damn fucking hard.....Beyond my expectations and it shocked the students who were taking Biology as their subject...Well,whats done is done.If I can pass it,I'm happy.

Well,tomorrow is the final day...Will update bout gaming tomorrow (If I'm not lazy of course :D)

The first test begins tomorrow

Still I'm wasting my time in writing my blog...

And so,the first test of my Form 4 life begins tomorrow which are:

Physics , English , Biology , History

Haven't read through History yet and almost finishing my Biology studies....The only thing I'm worried now is my Physics and History ( Lots of things to remember in one day!! ).In serious shit at the moment so I've decided to do with the flow tomorrow.

Well...May God bless my soul...

Almost fainted....

Ah yes....Sunday's.The day where I can game the whole day through...So I began my gaming session at around 11-12pm( Not so sure at that time ).Played DotA non-stop until it was time to go tuition at 4pm ( Chemistry ).

After that,went back home and continued gaming till my parents came back and brought me dinner.Ate and then went back to continue my DotA...

Then it happen....After a while I felt my whole body began to numb and my sense of touching are failing me.I was terrified.I quickly took a hot shower but the feeling still did not left me.I was going to faint!!!It was not the first time I experience this shit but now its coming back..

And so I quickly went to do some workout to ensure proper blood flowing,hoping THIS thing would leave me...Unfortunately,it turned out worst...As I was doing my pumping,I could not even feel the floor and my hand was bloody red in colour!!

I was thinking..HOLY SHIT!!THIS IS SERIOUS!!

And so I prayed to God to get rid of this problem...I was not goin to let this bullshit take over me!!So I ran on the treadmill.

I felt a little better after that and took a rest on my bed and soon the feeling left me...I regain back my sense of touch after that

That was one hell of an experience.....

The teachers who I do not like to mess with

Recently in school,I have been receiving complains from teachers due to my mischievous acts such as skipping class to play ping-pong or not doing homework.

At first I was ignoring it but soon,it gets scarier.There are a few teachers who I seriously do not like to mess with or even skip their classes or even do their homework.

So here is the list of the teachers as a reminder

1.Chemistry -The scariest teacher...Definitely not a person to mess with.Got thrown out of class once for not completing her work.

2.Physics-Another one....this dude is so serious about his teaching that he threatens to cane someone if they do not do his work but still....I enjoy sleeping in his class when he is talking.He talks like a friggin robot.












Nope not this of course....





3.Biology -Well...since I respect my Bio teacher a lot when she was the person in-charge when I was in one of the Petronas Actology competition,I do all her work ( copy from friend of course ) and listen in her class...but still,she can be very scary when no one pays attention in her class or someone breaks a lab apparatus ( like what my friend did )

4.Mathematics -Very friendly indeed.Speaks broken english but fluent Chinese.Mess with her all the time :D

5.English -One of my favourite subject.Teacher is friendly.Can mess with her.Seldom do her homework but ALWAYS doing essays.I enjoy writing bullshit in the essay :DD

6.BM -Quite scary at some times but still can mess with her :D.Btw,I hate BM.

7.History -I usually call him 'songkok-king'.A friendly Malay teacher which I assume having a 'songkok' glued to his head.The reason I say this is that whenever he moves,the songkok shows no motion as if it was super-glued on his head.He is also a bookworm.He calls the History Textbook the 'kitab' and he reads the 'kitab' like a maniac.Saw him couple of times,at the canteen reading it while drinking his coffee,walk while reading and also reading the 'kitab' while waiting for us to return from labs,library etc.Still...not a teacher to mess with as he is really strict bout his work.

8.Add Maths -Screw with him all the time.My AM teacher is a rather shy person.He looks so scard when asking me to hand out the homework,which I obviously will not do and he talks super soft.

9.Moral -Screw with her all the time.An old malay lady teaching us Moral.I like her very much because she is not strict.Although,she is serious about her work but I ignore all her scoldings and I find it rather funny...lolz

10.Sivics -My form teacher.She is strict but messable with as well.Overall,she is a good teacher and her class is enjoyable

Finally started Blogging after hesitating for 4 months...

Well,as the topic says,previously I wanted to start blogging since last year but because of my laziness and my gaming.I delayed for a few months,only to start blogging when I found myself plunging into exams....

Well then,will start blogging about gaming and other cool stuffs later on!!!