So this few days,I have been experiencing this fuckup problems.
Insecurity!!??How the hell this shit is corrupting me.I often feel left out nowadays,thinking too much that everyone dislike me or nobody thinks I'm worth talking to.Ohhh...the pain I felt.For an example,the girl I liked
Oh yeah...I managed to get her HP last Monday.Mastering all my courage,I took a deep breath and went up to her asking her for it and surprisingly,she gave it to me without even asking why.
Well,enough of this bullshit.So I sms her just yesterday and she taking a few hours to reply me...I felt unsecured and all the thoughts flew through my brain."Why isn't she replying me??Does she really like me or am I going crazy??".How I felt at that time was terrible but when I received her reply..Holy shit,my heart was so lighten and all my worries were gone but I smsed her again and she took a few more hours to reply...thats where the feeling strikes again.
I don't know how long this shit is gonna take but I really pray hard that this thing will leave me alone..
Next,jealously...Another problem,I've been having for years.When I see my friends getting surrounded with chicks and seeing them spammed on their Fb wall with comments and likes...The feeling starts creeping me telling,"How nice if I could be like him..".And so everyday I do meaningless things just to get attention but ALL THESE FOR WHAT PURPOSES??FOR FAME??I began to think properly...is what I'm doing now really worth it in the end?Sure,If I could be like him but all those time wasted on trying to be someone...And so,I have been trying to accept what I have and be grateful to what God has given unto me.
Well...the final,heartaches...currently trying to form a relationship with her seems so painful...getting to know her better makes me extremely nervous everytime I try to start a conversation...And when feeling rejected,I feel like I'm a loser...
ALL THESE PROBLEMS I'VE BEEN FACING!! People say I think too much or I'm not matured enough but I have my reasons for everything...Trying to perfect myself seems so difficult...
Well...thats all I guess...hopefully something in me will change one day
Maybe she just see you as a friend... you didn't really clarify why you ask for her hp no anyway..
ReplyDeleteAnd all the others are just depression talks.
Change for the better, Change for the best interest of yourself not for others. Its your life not theirs.
hmmm...maybe your right.After all,I've been doing things I don't do before and I'm feel I'm doing all this to impress one girl or draw her attention...Have to get wiser...Thx bro!!
ReplyDelete